Nataly 38 #1 October 13, 2009 So a thread on here inspired me to write about my experience so far with a dating site.. I'm not going to apologise or feel ashamed: I did it - I joined a dating site. It's Match.com in fact.. I thought: why dick around? It's the most popular one - it must be for a reason (probably advertising, but I digress).. So I post a variety of pics of myself. I even threw in the odd one where I'm not looking very cute at all, in an effort to show my "goofy" side.. What do I think so far?? Well, it all seems like a monumental waste of time.. My profile has been looked at over 2000 times since I joined 3 (?) weeks ago (possibly 4). I've been "winked" at on average a dozen times per day on weekdays and about 3 times that on weekends.. I've gotten a number of requests - many of which I would never entertain sharing with anyone and which caused me to promptly block a number of users. I have blocked over 100 rude/weird/scary candidates so far.. In short, I can't keep up. I don't think I'm attracting the right kind of people, and I don't think I'm looking at the right kinds of things either.. The most ironic thing is that on paper, I'm instinctively selecting all the obvious stuff that actually matters NOT AT ALL if the personality is crap (like salary, of all things!! What a fucking hypocrite that makes me, right?!). Of course no one fantasises about falling in love with a man who's short/fat/broke, but the reality is that if he's bloody Prince Charming, who gives a fuck about any of that trivial shit??! The difficulty is that I have NO IDEA how to read through all the crap to find appealing personalities.. I'm thinking this online thing is actually *more* tedious and *more* difficult to figure out than actually going out and meeting people.. Trouble is.. I don't like going out and meeting people.. It's bloody hard to read people from some little written profile.. Even I come off sounding like a totally different person, no matter how "true to myself" I try to be.. *sigh*.. What a funny world.. Honestly.. If one more man asks me for random sex I'm going to scream.. I mean.. It's so unoriginal! Any one else out there struggling with "virtual dating"???"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #2 October 13, 2009 It's been a long time since I was on any online dating sites, but I found that match.com was kind of like monster.com and other hugely popular job sites - the signal to noise ratio wasn't worth it. For job searching, I had a lot more luck with personal networking and smaller sites like LinkedIn. Same goes for dating - actually getting out and doing things and meeting people helped, as did looking at smaller sites. When I did do some online dating I went for an online site affiliated with the local alternative weekly paper - found that the mix of people on there was a better fit to what I was looking for (and vice versa). Still didn't have much luck with it, but better than match.com."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #3 October 13, 2009 virtual, real, you know what!? bollocks, i'm done with this shit, and i truely hope that death comes rather fast, because after like 15yrs of broken hopes and dreams, i really cant take all that shit anymore.. i'm devastated, once again, and i'm so fed up with all of it! i'm getting a new rig in short time, and i hope i find peace with that, somehow, someway.. have a nice life, everyone; this cock is out!“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,590 #4 October 13, 2009 Now why would you go there instead of supporting a fellow Canuck: http://www.plentyoffish.com/ And it is free."There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #5 October 13, 2009 Quote Now why would you go there instead of supporting a fellow Canuck: http://www.plentyoffish.com/ And it is free. Well, I picked Match.com because it was the most obvious one. And because I'm not a seasoned "dater", I figured it would be easy enough to navigate and it would probably attract other non-experience "daters" as well.. UGh.. My point isn't that I'm somehow pissed off or disappointed in the whole thing.. I guess I just don't understand how it all works.. I mean, I never really dated when I was younger anyway, so it's all a bit weird.. Maybe the real problem is that I'm not really looking for a relationship.. I'm just finding I'm not meeting people and I feel tired of sharing all my time with my girly friends.. I love my girly friends, don't get me wrong.. Oh, I don't know.. Anyway.. It's weird!! "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ketia0 0 #6 October 13, 2009 Been there, Done that. Spent good money on Match.com and Eharmony.com... Neither of them really worked. And problem is I dont get out enough to meet people. Im always busy. Always doing something...Meh.. Seems like its the single life for me... for a while... "In this game you can't predict the future. You just have to play the odds. "-JohnMitchell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ketia0 0 #7 October 13, 2009 Quote Well, I picked Match.com because it was the most obvious one. And because I'm not a seasoned "dater", I figured it would be easy enough to navigate and it would probably attract other non-experience "daters" as well.. UGh.. My point isn't that I'm somehow pissed off or disappointed in the whole thing.. I guess I just don't understand how it all works.. I mean, I never really dated when I was younger anyway, so it's all a bit weird.. Maybe the real problem is that I'm not really looking for a relationship.. I'm just finding I'm not meeting people and I feel tired of sharing all my time with my girly friends.. I love my girly friends, don't get me wrong.. Oh, I don't know.. Anyway.. It's weird!! My Problem EXACTLY!!! Except..guy freinds.... To busy for a real relationship.. but everyone around me is in one.. and I know I would like one.. But... Quote Oh, I don't know I dont know either.. "In this game you can't predict the future. You just have to play the odds. "-JohnMitchell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #8 October 13, 2009 Your problems are many and varied! 1) High expectations. If a guy is as good looking and as well connected as me why would he be on match.com? He's catnip to you women. He can find women simply by walking into any big name store with his fly undone and walk out engaged! I hate those guys! And thus I hate my self. Understand that the guys you are going to find on there come in two quantities. One half will be the introverted types who have no clue how to talk to women but are super good with computers. The other are the super perverted types who have no clue how to talk to women. 2) You are dealing with an algorithm. And if crap goes in crap will come out. Think of it like eating Indian food. Good Indian food in....you'll be fine. Bad Indian food in....not so fine! Thus refine your search. Be brutally honest! But keep in mine point #1. Who knows, maybe an Argentinian male model heart surgeon is on match.com but since your requirements are so vast he's no more than a sexy blip on your radar. 3) Don't expect to find the man of your dreams in 5 business days or your money back. Expect to meet some interesting guys and who knows..... 4) All who wish to see this "cute" photo say I! Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
downwardspiral 0 #9 October 13, 2009 Your problem is your criteria...salary, height, weight. Evolved men know better. Shah catches a lot of shit for doing the exact same but ONLY with weight. Does that make you worse than Shah? Something to consider. www.FourWheelerHB.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,483 #10 October 13, 2009 www.shortfatbrokeprincecharming.comNobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #11 October 13, 2009 Quote Your problem is your criteria...salary, height, weight. Evolved men know better. Shah catches a lot of shit for doing the exact same but ONLY with weight. Does that make you worse than Shah? Something to consider. Oh please you are too kind. I too use to discriminate based on looks, income and number of fingers and toes. Dated a really hot chick with 6 toes on each foot.....never again!Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,590 #12 October 13, 2009 dude, Dude, DUde, DUDe, DUDE...do you realize you responded to me. "There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
downwardspiral 0 #13 October 13, 2009 Quote Quote Your problem is your criteria...salary, height, weight. Evolved men know better. Shah catches a lot of shit for doing the exact same but ONLY with weight. Does that make you worse than Shah? Something to consider. Oh please you are too kind. I too use to discriminate based on looks, income and number of fingers and toes. Dated a really hot chick with 6 toes on each foot.....never again! Hush you! You're fucking up my point. Just because you're beyond help doesn't mean that she is.www.FourWheelerHB.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #14 October 13, 2009 Quote It's bloody hard to read people from some little written profile.. Even I come off sounding like a totally different person, no matter how "true to myself" I try to be.. Yep,cause part of what you wrote here makes you seem like a gold digging cunt, but I'm sure you aren't. I mean some people here think I'm an asshole but that just isn't true at all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,590 #15 October 13, 2009 Quote Dated a really hot chick with 6 toes on each foot.....never again! You dated Amazon???"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #16 October 13, 2009 Quote Oh please you are too kind. I too use to discriminate based on looks, income and number of fingers and toes. Dated a really hot chick with 6 toes on each foot.....never again! Hush you! You're fucking up my point. Just because you're beyond help doesn't mean that she is. But girls who are beyond help are my favorite kinds of girls! Long story short sights like eharmony.com force us to confront who we are and what we want in a partner. You want a guy who makes X amount of cash and is Y feet tall and Z inches long then well ask for it! The program can't read your mind! It's just a program! And use it as a tool and never give up on the old fashioned way of meeting people. Posting dirty pictures......just kidding. Going out with your friends and giving some poor shmuck a chance when he works up the courage to come over and say hi. OK. Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rstanley0312 1 #17 October 13, 2009 I love it when I get rickrolled.... hahaLife is all about ass....either you're kicking it, kissing it, working it off, or trying to get a piece of it. Muff Brother #4382 Dudeist Skydiver #000 www.fundraiseadventure.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rstanley0312 1 #18 October 13, 2009 Just move to the US... an attractive, skydiving woman with a british accent..... you will have your pick. Not sure if you want your pick of skydivers but thats not the point..... Life is all about ass....either you're kicking it, kissing it, working it off, or trying to get a piece of it. Muff Brother #4382 Dudeist Skydiver #000 www.fundraiseadventure.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,590 #19 October 13, 2009 Quote Just move to the US... an attractive, skydiving woman with a Canadian accent..... you will have your pick. Not sure if you want your pick of skydivers but thats not the point..... FIFY"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #20 October 13, 2009 French Canadian girls have the sexiest accent! OH GOD I LOVED THEM SO! And they love me! Then I moved to Finland and every one sounded like an angry rally driver.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheCaptain 2 #21 October 13, 2009 I can not comment on the current site, but I can give you a success story. I used Match.com 10 years ago for about 9 months during that time I went on 30 meet and greet coffee dates all were great women and better in person than their profiles. I did meet my wife on there her and I e-mail each other for months before we met, next May will be 10 years since we met. Kirk He's dead Jim Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slcooper 0 #22 October 13, 2009 Try eHarmony, the process is a little different but they end up matching you with people who you have more in common with. Just like anything, you have to put time and effort into it It took me over a year and a TON of dates to find someone who I liked that liked me, but I finally did.Why would anyone jump out of a perfectly good airplane? Cause the door was open! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #23 October 13, 2009 Quote Quote It's bloody hard to read people from some little written profile.. Even I come off sounding like a totally different person, no matter how "true to myself" I try to be.. Yep,cause part of what you wrote here makes you seem like a gold digging cunt, but I'm sure you aren't. I mean some people here think I'm an asshole but that just isn't true at all. Thing is, when I went though the criteria of what would appeal, I was 100% honest.. But all the criteria are superficial.. So.. Height.. Well, Ideally more than 5'10.. Important? Not very.. So for everything I selected, I had to be honest and put down my preferences, but then equally had to select "low" on the scale of how important it was.. The one thing I rated as "very" important was on smoking and drinking.. It *does* matter to me very much if a guy smokes or drinks a lot - BIG no-no.. As a result, there was little narrowing of the pool of candidates.. But then.. None of the criteria was: sense of humour (super important); cheekiness (very important); physical chemistry (extremely important, but impossible to discern without meeting the person).. So even though I get a blurb about what I'm after, etc.. Well, I don't really know, and my stats would suggest anything'll do anyway!! But obviously when reading a profile, the only thing I'm seeing is the obvious stuff.. I'm not very good at reading beyond the bloody obvious to find the "true" character of the person.."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ghost47 18 #24 October 13, 2009 I've used Match off and on (I'm a guy). Currently in a relationship, so haven't used it in a while. But what interested me about your post is that you talk about how many guys have contacted you, how many winks you've gotten, etc. -- Have you contacted anyone yourself? You're right, there's only so much you can see from a profile, but if you're the one doing the contacting, you've got a much better shot at finding someone compatible. And, speaking as a guy, it was always great to get a message from a girl. Also, if you know that you're selecting things that don't matter -- stop selecting them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #25 October 13, 2009 Quote it was always great to get a message from a girl. Can i get an A MEN! A MEN!Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
